Hungry, Why Wait?

NBC NEWSAn Arizona drifter who skinned a cat and wore its tail and innards around his neck was sentenced to two years in prison on Wednesday.

If you don’t paint your face and eat cats, then fuck you!

Wonder if all local Chinese restaurants have already retained his services when he gets out of jail?

According to the criminal complaint, police arrested Hofstad in January after he broke into a Phoenix warehouse used as a music venue.

Officers found the skinned and gutted remains of a cat inside, and Hofstad wearing the cat’s tail and a piece of its “internals” around his neck on a rope, with his face painted. Police said he had eaten parts of the cat, while some of its other internal organs were kept in a cooler.

Where in the hell did this guy get a fucking cooler?  Great idea though, gotta keep those organs fresh.

Hofstad told police he had recently been released from jail and had nowhere to live. He said he had not eaten in a few days, so he hit the cat with a stick and then stabbed it.

Why the cat would go anywhere near some crazy human with a stick and their face painted we will never know.  He obviously didn’t have any food to lure it in with.  Dumbass cat.

He planned to stuff the animal and save the skeleton “for a decoration for a party.”

Yeah, I was going to use the skeleton as a centerpiece for the table at Thanksgiving with my totally sane family.  Fucking cops always fucking some shit up.  Next time, I will be more careful and make sure to not paint my face and break and enter when I do this.  Totally worth two years in jail though, that cat tasted fucking amazing!

Are United Continental Employees Homophobes? You be the judge.

OVERHEADBINA gay couple is accusing United Continental of “extreme and outrageous” conduct over an alleged incident involving a sex toy taped to their luggage, which the men say caused them severe emotional trauma.

Christopher Bridgeman and Martin Borger of Norfolk, Va., are seeking damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy and negligence in a lawsuit filed against the airline on Friday in the District Court of Harris County, Texas.

“It still brings butterflies to my stomach,” Borger, 35, told NBC News when recalling the episode.
I don’t know about you, but it brings butterflies to my stomach to think about what this toy actually looked like.

United countered that it has conducted a thorough investigation and determined that there is no support for the allegations, spokeswoman Christen David said in a statement.

“United does not tolerate discrimination of any kind,” David said. “We will vigorously defend ourselves and our employees.”

The incident allegedly happened on May 21, 2011, as Bridgeman and Borger were returning from a vacation in Costa Rica. The men — who have been together for almost nine years — were flying back to Norfolk on Continental with a 90-minute layover at George Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston. (Continental merged with United in 2010.)

Once they landed in Houston, the men collected their checked bags, went through customs, rechecked their luggage and boarded their flight to Virginia without incident.

But when they arrived in Norfolk and went to the baggage claim area, the couple discovered a sex toy had been taken from one of their bags, covered in a “greasy foul-smelling substance” and “taped prominently” to the top of the bag, according to the lawsuit.

Hmm, what are the odds the greasy foul smelling substance was Borger’s diarrhea?

Borger was the one to first spot the luggage.

And Borger got a boner immediately.

“I knew exactly what it was when I saw it,” he told NBC News. “I was absolutely and utterly shocked and embarrassed and humiliated and I didn’t even know what to do at the time.”

Everyone was staring at my erect penis, although hidden somewhat via my tight citizen jeans, it was still embarrassing.

Onlookers began laughing when they saw the bag, causing the men severe emotional trauma, according to the lawsuit.

Bridgeman speculated an airline employee went through the bag — which was closed with a simple zipper — found the sex toy, saw that it belonged to a man and decided to humiliate the owner.

“I absolutely, fervently believe that this was intentional,” Bridgeman, 34, told NBC News. “It was very sick and it was very wrong and it was just maliciously taped to the top and targeted because we’re gay.”

You’re god damn right it was intentional Bridgeman, you dumbass.  If I had to investigate what was constantly vibrating in someones luggage, and rubber gloves or not, had to touch it, you’re gonna fucking pay for that shit son.  No pun intended.

Why someone opened the bag in the first place is not clear, said Harry Scarborough, the couple’s attorney. He didn’t know whether the bag was X-rayed at the airport in Houston, but if it was, the sex toy would have been visible, he added.

The airline’s employees had a duty to prevent the bag from being put on display “in such an extremely offensive condition,” according to the lawsuit.

Bridgeman and Borger said they reported the incident to United Continental after the flight, but weren’t satisfied with the response.

The airline countered that it offered the men a gesture of goodwill, which they declined, spokeswoman Christen David said.

Scarborough said the offer didn’t begin to address what his clients had been through. He declined to estimate how much money the couple is seeking from the airline, but the lawsuit is requesting mental anguish damages, attorney fees and expenses and other compensation.

The couple doesn’t travel much anymore because of the psychological impact of the incident, Scarborough said.

Well, glad to know I pretty much have no chance of sitting next to Bridgeman or Borger on my next flight to Costa Rica.  Here is a recent photo of the two taken during an interview.