Nikki Johnson of the LFL (Lingerie Football League) Writes Letter to Sam Gordon 8 Year Old Female Phenom

      

Nikki Johnson who plays “football” in her underwear for a living,  took it upon herself to write a letter to the 8-year-old speedy little chicken nugget everyone is currently talking about, Sam Gordon.  Here is the letter…

Hi Sam Gordon,
My name is Nikki Johnson a fellow passionate football player who did not care about playing at a young age or playing against the boys. 
 
I was really impressed and you reminded me of my early playing days and the sadness that came over me when I found out there is no high-profile league or competition once you reach a certain age in women’s tackle football. 
 
Than I discovered the LFL and it has changed my life providing a great platform for women to play tackle football on a global stage with the US league being nationally televised and games drawing sell-out crowds. Additionally, now the sport is global with LFL Canada and LFL Australia kicking-off with LFL Europe joining in 2015. 
 
I would not be writing you if our league was not about to announce a MAJOR re-branding initiative in January 2013 with a much greater focus on promoting the athletics of the game we love to play and providing a great goal for you when you turn 18yrs old to continue to compete. 
 
Sincerely from your biggest fan outside of your parents of course,
Nikki Johnson
LFL Quarterback
 
Ok couple of things here…
  1. Lets get the obvious out-of-the-way early.  This GIRL IS ONLY 8 YEARS OLD.
  2. Nikki plays football in her  UNDERWEAR (which we love) 😐
  3. Hi Sam Gordon?
  4. Did she really just say “Major re-branding initiative” to an 8 YEAR OLD?
  5. Did she really have to explain that she isnt a bigger fan of hers than her parents?

Im not saying writing an inspirational letter to an up and coming athlete in your profession is a bad idea.  What I am saying Nikki, is you need to disguise your true intentions a little better.  This letter has WAYYYY too many big words, phrases and seems wayyyy too scripted.  It looks to me to really have 3 very different purposes all together.

  1. Lets get Nikki and the LFL a little piece of the thunder that this lightning fast, little hamster has made.
  2. Lets make Nikki Johnson and our “league” to look like relevant, upstanding individuals within the athletic community.
  3. And finally lets use this opportunity to announce how we are changing the face of this exploitive, Maximesqe league comprised of ex, hot college soccer and field hockey players to be more “sports friendly.”

I really hope they don’t change the LFL and put clothes on these girls, the WNBA is hard enough to bear.  Put clothes and extra padding on these broads and might as well kiss the already dismal ratings they currently have goodbye.

Oh and leave this precious little gift from the athletic gods alone.  She’s an 8 year old girl dominating boys football, I’m sure she’s already confused enough.

The Wister Bra

Nikki Johnson’s Highlight real

Sam Gordons highlight real…Muuch Longer

ummm… pretty sure Sam should be writing Nikki.

Guy In Ghostbuster Costume Backflips Off Cop Car… You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next.

.. He is promptly arrested.

I hate kids like this, he  is clearly one of those “one uppers. ” 

“Man, last night was great, we had some beer and hung out, decent night all around.”

“Oh yeah?  I fucked a porn star, got pulled over, my blood alcohol level was 7 times the legal limit and they let me go. ”

“Dude thats happened to me before too…nut!”

“Oh yeah, did I mention that I went swimming with a tiger too?”

I wish he face planted

NHL 50/50 Split: Lockout Explained With Beer

Wow. That was absolutely perfect, Really broke it down for me too.

“I buy the Mrs. Vickies, I buy the fuckin smokes”

Thanks Wes W. for the video.

NHL UPDATE

 

Well, once again empty hope for the 2012-13 NHL season as games are nixed through November 1st.

ESPN – It is the second round of game cancellations since the lockout went into effect Sept. 19. Earlier this month, the NHL eliminated the first block of regular-season contests through Oct. 24. A total of 135 games are canceled, which amounts to 11 percent of the season.

“As expected,” New York Rangers goalie Martin Biron told The Associated Press in a text message. “We continue to work hard to find an agreement and get back to playing hockey.”

Also, these games are not necessarily lost yet.. they are technically postponed while the possibility to squeeze 82 games into the season still exists it is highly unlikely.

All I know is my fantasy football team has been better than ever strictly because i haven’t lost concentration in October like most years before… Thank you NHL.

 

 

 

 

Drake Graduates! High School?

DM – He’s sold over 5million albums and his latest tour took more than $42million.

But for rapper Drake none of that compares to his pride at graduating from high school.

The 25-year-old finally gained his diploma on Wednesday, ten years after leaving school at just 15 in search of stardom.

He tweeted to fans: ‘One of the greatest feelings in my entire life. As of tonight I have graduated high school!’

I guess he just wants to be, he just wants to be successfullllll.

This goes to show you do not need high school to make it in life.  Any high school kids reading this should drop out now and rap.

This has been a public service announcement from the Jar.

Mafia Paid Replacement Refs

Ok this could be a huge conspiracy theory, but hear me out.

  1. NFL Ref’s association says that for 85% of the replacement refs this was a second job.
  2. These “refs” also knew that this gig wasn’t gonna last forever.
  3. Many of these calls were SO BAD that one had to even wonder, have these guys ever even watched a football game before?
  4. As for the case in Green Bay….  This was a game changer, spread killer, and VIDEO evidence “verified” it was incorrect yet all of these part timers (except for one unflappable man) agreed on the wrong call.
  5. Vegas projected that 80% of the action was on GB and$250,000,000 changed hands because of that call world wide.  That’s a quarter of a BILLION dollars, wrath of god money!!

You’re telling me that not even .0001% of that couldn’t have been kicked back, offered upfront, or families lives put in danger to a part time worker? Im probably not the best example, but if you think that if  someone approached me at my part time job, that isn’t going to last much longer and offered me, lets sayyyy 250k, I’m not doin it…. you’re NUTS!  That’s just me though, there are plenty of people with much stronger moral fabric then I have, but plenty doesn’t mean all.  Food for thought.  OMG I’m so getting whacked for this.

Wister Miggles

Which is my real name and I live in Canada 😉