Human Wikipedia?

Is it weird that i’m still not impressed? So the guy sat in his living room with flashcards of famous peoples lifespans. Its what they did in the dash bro. Let me guess buddy, you’re an excellent driver?

Guy is a modern day rain man:

Guy In Ghostbuster Costume Backflips Off Cop Car… You’ll Never Guess What Happens Next.

.. He is promptly arrested.

I hate kids like this, he  is clearly one of those “one uppers. ” 

“Man, last night was great, we had some beer and hung out, decent night all around.”

“Oh yeah?  I fucked a porn star, got pulled over, my blood alcohol level was 7 times the legal limit and they let me go. ”

“Dude thats happened to me before too…nut!”

“Oh yeah, did I mention that I went swimming with a tiger too?”

I wish he face planted

Reporter Afraid of “Wiggling Carp” Almost Falls Out of Boat

Okay, first things first. 7 seconds in.. clearly best moment in that guys life.

Secondly, that reporter is a babe.

that’s it that’s all.

Lena Dunham Obama Ad?

Wait, does this little blouse wearing “fella” have a mushroom cut?  And furthermore, did he just say he wants to bang the President of the United States??  Ive heard of trashy campaign adds, but resorting to porn is, well AWESOME in my eyes.

This could either backfire really, really bad or be the smartest campaign move ever!  Either way I CANNOT wait to see Romney’s version of this.

 

This Exact Scenario Happened To Me

So today I’m grabbing my coffee heading to work, pulling out of the parking lot and slim thug comes on. 

I haven’t heard this song since nine deuce. I’m pulling out of Starbucks so I feel pretty safe you know? I start getting into it.. I’m all “they dont make to many niggas like me” throwin hand motions and i’m sure my facial expressions were on point… as I edge out I  look to my left to check for traffic and what do I see a few gangster brother straight staring at me. so I freeze drop my  iphone place my coffee in the cup holder and  roll em up, so seamlessly. and as I watch this clip im just dying thinking about how exact this scenario played out.

This is the scenario: 

 

Civil War Wednesday’s – South Blog

DM – A fun-loving boyfriend decided to surprise his partner by posting her an unusual present – himself.
But the joke went horribly wrong when the delivery was delayed and he almost suffocated to death.
Hu Seng, from Chongqing city, southern China, got a friend to tape him into a box, which he had paid a courier firm to deliver to his partner, Li Wang.

Should’ve got the oxygen add-on bro, 55 cents extra.

China just going hard in the paint, not even an anniversary or anything.. dude just almost killed himself and wouldn’t even punch a hole in the box as hes struggling for air. (didn’t want to ruin the surprise)  are you fucking kidding me.

The surprising thing to me is not that this dude tried to mail himself to his girlfriend as a joke, certainly not that he got lost in the mail and almost died.. but the fact that his buddy waited outside of the apartment for 3 hours. that’s dedication… after that first 45 minutes you could find me on the couch playing a little madden cause I have better things to do on my day off.
and apparently this guys girlfriend is: Lil Wang

solely based on pronunciation.

Typical New York Trash.

Look at this lady… “that was his ball bro..” typical New york… Go slam down a few more dogs and chokes in the parking lot.

 

Okay, I’m not one to write about this kind of thing, but this needs attention,what a piece of shit this guy is. That kid caught the ball fair and square and this guy and the bitch next to him… whine and complain that it was their ball until the kid gives it back.  “C’mon that’s my ball bro my ball give it back bro” ugh.

This guys whole life is summed up in this one moment. Cry like a little bitch until you get your way. The ball is from a fucking lawn attendant.. sweet buddy.

“he called it dude..really … really.” go crawl back into the gutter you came out of. Disgusting bitch.