Tuesday Morning Music Break.

Hoodie Allen – FEEL THE LOVE

Extreme Tailgating: The Ultimate Dunkaroo

Nothing like starting your pre-game boozathon with a cold dunkaroo.  This guy takes it to whole new level.

1.  Assisted Full Vertical Head Dunk

2.  Shot of Whiskey

3.  Shotgun Beer

4.  Back Flip Off Platform

5.  Beer Bong

When Jesus Comes Back the Tarheels are Screwed

PRICELESS

Old Man Whickutt – When Jesus Comes Back

Awesome job fellas!!!

Top 5 Defensive Players to Watch in the 2012-13 NCAA Football Season

TOP 5 Offensive College Athletes to Watch in 2012-13

DEFENSE:

Jelani Jenkins LB FLORIDA

Sylvester Williams  DT UNC

Sam Montgomery DE LSU

David Amerson, CB NC STATE

Manti Te’o, LB NOTRE DAME

Tyrann Mathieu. LSU CB  

Top 5 Offensive Players 2012-13 NCAA Football Season

TOP 5 Offensive College Athletes to Watch in 2012-13

OFFENSE:

Matt Barkley, QB USC (Trojans)

Keenan Allen, WR UCLA

Giovani Bernard,  RB UNC

Marcus Lattimore, RB USC (GameCocks)

Barrett Jones, OL ALABAMA

Denard Robinson, QB MICHIGAN

 

College Kickoff: Why State Will Beat Tennessee

State is starting this season with an experienced group of athletes. 6’6 230 lb Glennon is back with a vengence. He wants to go to the show and he is good enough to get there. He will be a premier QB in college football this year. Tennessee is long out of the SEC title race, they have a sub par defense which has undergone so many changes and lack team chemistry. Although State has younger under experienced line backers the boys up front can hold their own. There is a lot to prove for both sides but state will pull it out.

Or you can listen to this kid:

Judging by the wall decals he is a legitimate fan.

Russell Wilson gets the start for the Seahawks.

SEATTLE – Wilson has beaten the odds and won the starting job over Matt Flynn, the quarterback GM John Schneider brought in from Green Bay during free agency. With a contract that guarantees him $10 million, Flynn may now be one of the more expensive backup quarterbacks, but Carroll said money “doesn’t matter to me and I don’t want that to matter to me.”

Wilson, 23, outshined Flynn in the first two preseason games, and was an exciting sight during Friday’s third preseason matchup as Flynn sat the game out with a sore elbow. (Carroll told 710 ESPN Seattle’s Brock Huard and Mike Salk that Flynn just has “some inflammation” and should be fine.) After Wilson’s stellar performances, it wasn’t much of a surprise when Carroll made the quarterback announcement on Sunday.

“There’s just a story here to this kid. He’s done a marvelous job entering this program,” Carroll said on the “Brock and Salk” show. “He’s just way beyond his years.”

“When he’s played,” Carroll added, “it’s just been dynamic.”

I thought for sure Russell Wilson would be a better quarter back than Flynn and I knew at some point this season he would take the starting role… I never thought it would be in the first game of the season.. However, in retrospect how dare I deny Russell, this guy defies the odds always, its just what he does. You tell him he can’t do something he does it twice, you give him an opportunity he soaks every bit of it up and exceeds your expectations. Russell Wilson is a doer the guy is built for success however, this Seahawks team is a true test, I am pumped to see where this season goes. Thank goodness the fucking NFL is back.  Its the Catalina wine mixer.

PS wow it sucks seeing 23 next to Russell Wilsons name.  Next you’re going to tell me the guy has a bigger dick than me. This guy is younger than I am yet its me acting like a school girl when I pick him for my back up in Fantasy Football.

Breaking: First sight of Snooki’s Baby.

USA TODAY- Snooki has delivered — and not just ratings!

MTV’s beach-bunny reality star, Snooki of Jersey Shore, gave birth to her first child, a boy, in New Jersey just before 3 a.m. today. Reports that she had gone into labor emerged late Saturday.

MTV reported on its websitethat Nicole Polizzi‘s baby was born at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston, N.J. Lorenzo Dominic LaValle weighed 6 pounds, 5 ounces. Snooki’s fiance, Jionni LaValle, was with her.

Well, its what we have all been waiting for…. Here is the first shot of Snooki’s baby boy Lorenzo Dominic LaValle:

Im a Baby.

A witness in the labor room reports that the baby walked out standing upright. Congratulations to the new mom and baby. Godspeed.

Roger Clemens Life Reminds me of Something.

“You’re Fuckin’ Out.”

LA TIMES –   Roger Clemens threw 3 1/3 innings, giving up only one hit, striking out two and walking none for the Sugar Land Skeeters on Saturday night.

Not a bad outing for a 50-year-old man who hasn’t pitched for a team in five years and has become more known to some as the guy who was charged with lying to Congress about alleged steroid use (he was acquitted in June).

Hate to say it, but the Rocket just doesn’t sound the same when the “heat” you’re throwing is a smooth 83. This type of shit might last in Manitoba but bring that to the big leagues and Clemens Geriatric ass is moral support at best. Needlessto say this scenario delivers an eerie resemblance to another national hero:

Apple Inc., bitch slaps Samsung and takes their lunch money

Bloomberg – Apple Inc. (AAPL) won more than $1 billion after a jury found Samsung Electronics Co. (005930) infringed six of seven patents for its mobile devices in a verdict that may lead to a ban on U.S. sales of handheld electronics a judge deems to violate Apple’s rights.

Apple won less than half of what it sought in damages in the first lawsuit to go before a U.S. jury in the fight to dominate the global smartphone market, though U.S. District Judge Lucy Koh may later triple the damages against Samsung under federal law. Samsung avoided a finding of damages for antitrust law violations or breach of contract.

Apple won a verdict of more than $1.05 billion after jurors found Samsung Electronics infringed six of seven patents for mobile devices. Photographer: SeongJoon Cho/Bloomberg

Koh, who presided over the four-week trial, scheduled a hearing next month to consider Apple’s request to make permanent a ban on U.S. sales of Samsung devices including its Galaxy Tab 10.1 computer, as well as to extend the ban to other Samsung products. Jurors in federal court in San Jose,California, found after just three days of deliberations that Samsung infringed three software patents related to its tablet computer and two of those related to Samsung’s Nexus smartphone.

“This is a huge victory for Apple,” Mark Lemley, a Stanford Law School professor, said in an e-mail. “The verdict is just large enough to be the largest surviving patent verdict in history.”

“Even more important is the injunction Judge Koh is likely to issue,” Lemley said after yesterday’s verdict. “The real question is whether this is enough to derail the momentum the Android ecosystem has gained in the marketplace.”

You korean idiots knew good and well you were stealing shit word for word from Apple’s iphone tech.  It was only a matter of time before the world’s most profitable corporate juggernaut in history took out its “bad mother fucker” wallet and bitch slapped you in the face with it then tapped the back back forward forward square circle X button on the PS3 controller for the ultimate mortal combat finishing move.  Did you dumbasses honestly think you could lawyer up and get away with it?  Ya done, son!

This Kid Single Handedly Reincarnated the East Coast/West Coast Gang War.

 East Coast West Coast Rivalry Sparked at Little League World Series.

This Kid Single Handedly reincarnated the East Coast West Coast Gang War. 

It’s like Hocus Pocus, that kid just lit the black flame candle…. on like Donkey Kong mofucka.

 

Man beats Wright Brothers first flight using modified sweat suit

All I’m saying is you gotta be one thrill seeking adrenaline junkie mother fucker to purposefully free fall within feet of  solid stone without shitting yourself.  One wrong move and you’re a bug splat on a windshield.  Watch this fucking guy! He sees a cliff wall and flies towards the bitch.  Who does that?  Idiot likes to test it to see how close he can get.   Whatever bro, thanks for the video.  Glad you got the funds to go cliff jumping all day while the rest of us are sitting in cubicles wishing we could be you.   Cheers.

Bring Back the NHL Already.

It looks like Gary Bettman will be putting the league on hold if no deal is met by September 15. Well two words for you Gary Fuck you. I’m not even sure Gary Bettman is familiar with the sport of hockey, certainly he is not familiar with the consequences of a Lock out. With a statement like : “We recovered well last time [there was a lockout] because we have the world’s greatest fans.” This guy has to be one of the biggest douche bags on the planet.. The NHL recovered at a slugs pace last time when it remained locked out for 301 days. Surely us fans will come back to the sport because we love it, its most certainly not because of the NHL however. We couldnt give a fuck about Gary Bettman and the rest of the owners.

This is all I care about:

and this:

and this:

Mason Jar Tribute: Latarian Milton

 

Mason Jar Sports solutes you, Latarian Milton, for bringing pure joyous laughter into our lives since 2008.  Latarian, you are the real Scarface.  We need people like you.  So we can point our fucking fingers and say, that’s the bad guy.  Is grandma still pissed off at you?  That’s ok…another quaalude, she’ll love you again.  Ever since you officially made it ok for us to do hoodrat stuff with our friends, our lives have been total disasters.  But holy shit, it’s been fun.  Me and all my buddies smoke cigarettes and do hoodrat stuff all day every day and love it.  Cheers.

Original Video

http://youtu.be/qcqOgnQyXp4 – embedded disabled by request – bitches

 

The Kid Strikes Again

 

Daniel Tosh Interview

http://youtu.be/2r2eQaJmeUA – embedded disabled by request – bastards

Looks like Matthew McConaughey got his drinkin’ buddy back.

LA Times-  Lance Armstrong effectively surrendered his seven Tour de France titles Thursday, announcing he was giving up his years-long fight against accusations that he cheated to repeatedly win cycling’s greatest race.

U.S. Anti-Doping Agency Chief Executive Travis Tygart said late Thursday he was still waiting to hear directly from Armstrong but added that the cyclist’s decision not to proceed in an arbitration process will leave Armstrong stripped of all of his Tour titles and 2000 Olympic bronze medal and result in a lifetime competition ban.

“There comes a point in every man’s life when he has to say, ‘Enough is enough,'” Armstrong, 40, wrote in a statement emailed to The Times and other news agencies.

“For me, that time is now. I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999.”

Armstrong’s attorneys asked a USADA attorney to turn the matter over to UCI, the international cycling union, but USADA maintains it retains jurisdiction to strip the titles.

We have the phone call between Lance and McConaughey after news of his stripped Tour titles. 

“I mean I always got the Creatine/Muscle Builder booster at Jamba Juice… Would that show up?”

I can completely see Lance turning into Uncle Rico… just crushing beers, selling magazines door to door and talking about the good ol’ days… But until then why not take the guys word for it, he never tested positive for steroids… who knows what those guys at Jamba Juice were throwing in his morning smoothie, I blame them. They sabotaged him. His previous teammates have all given significant evidence that he was doping but I think he was the only one on the team with natural ability. It’s the Tour De Lance.

“We’re almost out of gas, so call the A-Rabs”

“Check it out Ahmed! Im skitching. woah.. me too broah.. me too.”

Dont worry Goose, they’re having a picnic on the wing. Clearly this is an authentic photo.. things are getting heavy in the middle east.

One of these things is not like the others.


News & Observer – N.C. State has three veteran running backs in James Washington, Tony Creecy and Mustafa Greene. Wolfpack coach Tom O’Brien typically rotates two over the course of the game.

How the carries will be split up next Friday in Atlanta for the season opener against Tennessee is still to be determined O’Brien said Thursday.

Asked if there was any separation in the competition, O’Brien said, “not really.”

“That’s one of those things,” O’Brien said. “Tomorrow we’re going to take off and do a lot of talking about personnel and everything. So we’ll make some decisions going forward.”

Well N.C State, if you want to hear a lot more of  “And that’s another Wolfpack….wait for it…… FIRST DOWN” who is your starting Back?