Nikki Johnson who plays “football” in her underwear for a living, took it upon herself to write a letter to the 8-year-old speedy little chicken nugget everyone is currently talking about, Sam Gordon. Here is the letter…
Hi Sam Gordon,
My name is Nikki Johnson a fellow passionate football player who did not care about playing at a young age or playing against the boys.
I was really impressed and you reminded me of my early playing days and the sadness that came over me when I found out there is no high-profile league or competition once you reach a certain age in women’s tackle football.
Than I discovered the LFL and it has changed my life providing a great platform for women to play tackle football on a global stage with the US league being nationally televised and games drawing sell-out crowds. Additionally, now the sport is global with LFL Canada and LFL Australia kicking-off with LFL Europe joining in 2015.
I would not be writing you if our league was not about to announce a MAJOR re-branding initiative in January 2013 with a much greater focus on promoting the athletics of the game we love to play and providing a great goal for you when you turn 18yrs old to continue to compete.
Sincerely from your biggest fan outside of your parents of course,
Ok couple of things here…
- Lets get the obvious out-of-the-way early. This GIRL IS ONLY 8 YEARS OLD.
- Nikki plays football in her UNDERWEAR (which we love) 😐
- Hi Sam Gordon?
- Did she really just say “Major re-branding initiative” to an 8 YEAR OLD?
- Did she really have to explain that she isnt a bigger fan of hers than her parents?
Im not saying writing an inspirational letter to an up and coming athlete in your profession is a bad idea. What I am saying Nikki, is you need to disguise your true intentions a little better. This letter has WAYYYY too many big words, phrases and seems wayyyy too scripted. It looks to me to really have 3 very different purposes all together.
- Lets get Nikki and the LFL a little piece of the thunder that this lightning fast, little hamster has made.
- Lets make Nikki Johnson and our “league” to look like relevant, upstanding individuals within the athletic community.
- And finally lets use this opportunity to announce how we are changing the face of this exploitive, Maximesqe league comprised of ex, hot college soccer and field hockey players to be more “sports friendly.”
I really hope they don’t change the LFL and put clothes on these girls, the WNBA is hard enough to bear. Put clothes and extra padding on these broads and might as well kiss the already dismal ratings they currently have goodbye.
Oh and leave this precious little gift from the athletic gods alone. She’s an 8 year old girl dominating boys football, I’m sure she’s already confused enough.
The Wister Bra
Nikki Johnson’s Highlight real
Sam Gordons highlight real…Muuch Longer
ummm… pretty sure Sam should be writing Nikki.
DM – Map shows how concentration of racist tweets about Obama were from heavily Republican states of Mississippi and Louisiana.
Damnnnn dirty dirty why you be hatin? Still mad about that civil war thing?
Remind me to turn down my rap music if I ever drive through Mississippi for realssss. No seriously Tweet it to me @masonjarsports I know, I know we have Twitter….do as I say not as I do 😐
On a brighter note it looks as if Montana, Idaho, Wyoming and South Dakota either dont use Twitter or are judgement free zones. Either way I just got a new found appreciation for those absolutely meaningless states.
MC Icey Miggs
HERE’S LOOKIN’ UP YOUR SKIRTS LOUISIANA
You aren’t the only Dallas cheerleaders in town anymore. The Dallas Mavericks cheerleaders debuted their new skimpy outfits Monday night and sure look to be giving the legendary cowgirls a run for their money.
41% chance Barack grows up and plays for Manchester United. 88% chance Mitt grows up with a SEVERE inferiority complex and has major inadequacy issues. Not sure ma dukes thought this one through to well.
Im pretty sure this furry little killing machine just wanted to know whats the hell was up with those bandanas pops?
The Knicks TV ratings are at an all-time low and this is what their marketing department came up with. I woulda have loved to have been a fly on the wall in that marketing meeting.
Gary – “I got it! Ok now hear me out… We tell guys to stop chasing ugly chicks like 6’s and 7’s on Friday nights and start watching Kidd drop DIMES…get it 10’s?!?! Ehhhh Ehhhh…ok what do you think?! 🙂 ”
Garys’ Boss – “OMG Gary……..you’re aaaaaaa……GENIUS! Get us 1000 made and printed by Friday. This is gonna be huge!” 😐
DM – The Donald has always been outspoken where President Obama is concerned, riding him on everything from his college records to his birth certificate.
And this Election Day was no different. Moments after the president’s victory was projected by several news outlets last night, Donald Trump took to Twitter to voice his outrage, demanding a ‘revolution.’
He also said that the Democrat’s re-election to office was a ‘great and disgusting injustice.
I think the biggest injustice is allowing senile old people to own a Twitter account. Hey, I’m all for free speech, but when it makes its readers dumber that’s when I have to take a stand. You stated Obama lost the popular vote when only 85% of the total votes were tallied…he actually ended up winning both the electoral college AND the popular vote. Sooooo in actuality you were asking the minority to “march on Washington” and revolt? Not really sure you thought that through all the way pal. You want to make a difference? Offer up suggestions, instead of ranting, waving and screaming “look at me, look at me.” You want to stir up controversy and be the Howard Stern of politics to try to stay relevant? Go right ahead, but remember one thing you weird haired old freak, the world is laughing at you not us.
Wister Miggles Political Correspondent
When searching for a new mascot, THIS is what the Brooklyn Nets landed on? This horrific looking, child scaring, super hero? What happened to the furry, fun, cuddly mascots of the past? This team was purchased for $300 million dollars and a new stadium built for $1 BILLION dollars and THIS is the best your crack marketing team could come up with? You’d be better off just keeping Jay Z as the mascot, considering he goes around telling the world he’s an, or THE owner of the Nets. When in actuality its Russian Billionaire Mikhail Prokhorovwho who paid the majority….$240 million. Jay Z the proud “owner” he calls himself only put up $1 miilion 9 years ago as an “investment.” Either way I think they reallllly need to re-think their mascot choice, unless their goal is to make every little kid in the stands cry.
Here are a couple of the NBA’s best mascots:
Jeter’s an Obama man
A-Rod is a Mittens guy
Floyd loves him some Obama
The Bear is pulling for Mitt
Vincanity is a Bama man
Elway is all Romney all day
MJ is for BO
Peyton wears Mittens
Emmit is Barackin
Greg Anothey…who cares? Ok its Mitt Romney
The Diesel is voting for Barack
Hulk has a man crush on Romney
Rooney (cant vote) but his man crush is on Obama
Pretty Rickie is a Romney man
Emma is our first of many international Belle’s. This gorgeous young woman is from England and is a professionally trained dancer . She works hard, but plays just as hard. She says she knows what she wants in life and how to get it. She’s never boring and always up for a good laugh. Ladies and Gentlemen say hello to Emma, Mason Jar’s first international Belle.
Want to be featured as a Belle or know of someone who could. Send name, small bio and 7-10 pics to Belle@masonjarsports.com
This is Tommy today enjoying his bye week with Geeky glasses and a a coat with no shirt on underneath?
Geeky glasses again? Lets leave this to the guys in the NBA and Kanye West Tom.
Not even sure what is going on here…
Who’s a good puppy?!? The dog seems to be doing well too. 😐
I guess even the best of them get whipped. Ok, its completely obvious I am one hundred and fifty million percent jealous, but I meannnnn he can man it up a little….just a little.
Macho Macho Miggles
Yahoo – A 21-year-old named James Nash, masqueraded as a high school senior to try and tap back into one last rush of glory.
He went by Javier Jones’ and his true identity was reported by Mount Pleasant officials on Thursday after they discovered that the college-aged man had falsified documents to earn eligibility at Mount Pleasant; in Michigan, no athlete older than 19 is allowed to compete at the secondary school level. Nash claimed he was a 17-year-old senior who was seeking a transfer from a school in Lansing.
“It’s an unfortunate situation,” Mount Pleasant football coach Jason McIntyre told the AP. “Did he look older than he was? He looked like any other athletic senior. I don’t think he had any interceptions. He was not a dominant player.”
My favorite part of this story other than the fact it got me to daydreaming about if I could do something like that and how I would fare (probably still awful) is the coaches remarks about “Javier’s” skill…0 int’s and “was not dominant. ” I mean if your going to make this move at least make it worth Jimmy. Risk reward pal, RISK….REWARD.
1 time all county Wister Miggles
DM – If you have ever been embarrassed by an unflattering or too revealing picture posted online, Snapchat, a new iPhone app, could be the answer to your prayers. Enter: the self-destructing photograph.
Snapchat was born after two undergraduates at the American university, Stanford, noticed their friends frantically deleting incriminating or unsuitable photos from their Facebook accounts just before going on a job interview or on a date.
Their app allows users to take a photo and send it to friends, but the recipient can only look at the photo for a few seconds before it self-destructs – leaving no digital trace.
Nowwwww someone finally comes out with this?!? Man oh man could I have used this a few hundred billion million times. 😐
I’m usually the first one to call out a fake video, but all I have to say here is this baby is AWESOME.
I do think the dragon may be fake though.
Wister Miggles Yellow Belt