Local Cross Country Team Gets Beat Off To

FloriDUH It’s a good thing these students were runners.

Bradenton cops responded to a call from a high school cross-country running coach who reported a man sitting inside a Ford Taurus at G.T. Bray Park had exposed himself while masturbating to her students, who were training at the park, according to an arrest report from the Bradenton Police Department.


Police later visited the owner of the Taurus, Eric Eugene Weber, who they had tracked through the license plate number which the coach had given them.

At the police station, Weber reportedly admitted to the cops that he had been at the park, where he had downed a few Coors Light beers and smoked some pot, while sitting inside his car with the engine, radio and AC running — and with the car’s door open.

Ok, stop reading here for a second.  There was no evidence that you drank beer, let alone smoked pot.  Why Eric?  Why in the fuck would you admit that you fucking idiot.  If that is not stupid enough, read this next paragraph. 

He also allegedly ‘fessed up to cops that he wore shorts — which were pulled down as he masturbated with his eyes closed, believing he was all alone and wouldn’t be seen or disturbed by anyone, the arrest report stated.  At that point, he told cops that he had heard voices, opened his eyes, then saw the girls running past his car so he decided to split and go home, where he showered and took a nap, the affidavit stated.

What a cliffhanger, did he bust that nut or no?

Let’s get this straight.  Eric decided it was a good idea to go to a park in his car, smoke dope, drink a few beers and rub one out to the local women’s cross country team.  Oh yeah, with the doors wide open.  Just another fucking Tuesday right? 

I was dissappointed more in the fact that he was drinking Coors Light, from his mug shot, I pegged Eric to be a Bud man.

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